We have collected different marriage quotes funny positive for you. Are you a newlywed couple? You can share it with your spouse too. However you are not married but engaged then share it with your fiancé. Even share it with your girlfriend or boyfriend

Marriage quotes funny positive

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. —Helen Rowland

 The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’ —Anonymous

Marriage quotes funny positive

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. —Socrates

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. —Rita Rudner

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. —Albert Einstein

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. —Red Skelton

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. —Henny Youngman

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. —Cher

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. —Ambrose Bierce

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. —Marilyn Monroe

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. —Stephen Leacock

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. —Catherine Zeta-Jones

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. —Sigmund Freud

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. —Ogden Nash

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own. —Eddie Cantor

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. —Joyce Brothers

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. —Jean Kerr

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. —Isadora Duncan

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. —Benjamin Franklin

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. —Rita Rudner

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. —Ann Bancroft

When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned. —Marie Osmond

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. —Beverley Nichols

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. —Erma Bombeck

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity. —Honore de Balzac

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. —Raymond Hull

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother. —Sam Levenson

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. —Alexander Pope

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if aprospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. —Elbert Hubbard

If you are an emotional person and these Emotional Quotes on Husband Wife Relationship are best for you.

Marriage quotes funny positive

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples. —Neil Simon

Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch. —Yoko Ono

I married beneath me, all women do. —Nancy Astor

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.—Zig Ziglar

Where there is love there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi

 To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow–this is a human offering that can border on miraculous. – Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

 If I get married, I want to be very married. – Audrey Hepburn

 I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate then when I fall asleep your eyes close. – Pablo Neruda,  Love Sonnets

 You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr. Seuss

 Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin

I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough. – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

 If I had a flower for every time thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever. – Alfred Tennyson

 Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu

 We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness–and call it love–true love. – Robert Fulghum, True Love

 Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. – Zelda Fitzgerald

 What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting? – George Eliot

 We loved with a love that was more than love. – Edgar Allan Poe

 Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet. – Plato

 When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. – When Harry Met Sally

Marriage quotes funny positive

 I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.– Marilyn Monroe

 Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new. – Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven

 Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls. – Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

 What is Love? I have met in the streets a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, the water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul. – Victor Hugo

 When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. – Arrigo Boito

 Who, being loved, is poor? – Oscar Wilde

 A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. – Dave Meurer

 There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther

 There is no remedy for love but to love more. – Henry David Thoreau